As of late my motivation has been focused on me as a person, not as a runner. I recently had a birthday and every year I take time to reflect on the accomplishments and hardships that ran over the course of the previous year…. But more importantly, who I’ve become as a person. Over the last few years I’ve noticed that my attitude has ‘hardened.’ Yes I’m a much more confident person than I was at 22, which I’m thankful for, but what I’m embarrassed about is the perception I may give off to others. I have the outlook of ‘this is me, if you like it great, if you don’t, too bad because I’m not changing for you.’
I don’t share my past with many people, its way too complicated to explain, but after college I was verbally beat down repeatedly for many years till my confidence was all but non-existent. My only outlet to gain my mental and emotional strength back was self-improvement books (silly as it may seem) Eventually I had enough foresight and courage to change my environment and those who were in it and regain control of my life again. Now what’s happened is I’ve pendulumed. I went from being this meek, quiet girl who let anyone walk all over her, to a loud, blunt, sarcastic individual who FIRMLY and AUTHORATIVELY speaks her mind. I know it can rub certain personalities the wrong way, but its hard to change who you are right?!?!
Wrong. Today I was reading Lindsay’s Blog @ Cotter Crunch and in it she included an excerpt from a podcast she was listening to:
“Because the truth is, if you come in contact with someone, you either leave them feeling better about themselves or worse, but you never leave them unaffected.”
Reading that really struck a cord within me. In theory we all know this, but yet, do we practice it? This simple sentence is finally what I needed to hear, to try to keep my opinions to myself, to not force my views on other people, and above all, tone down the bluntness.
So after finishing up her blog I did what I always do when I want something to be engrained in me- wrote it on a post it note and stuck it on my computer. I think often times we focus so much on our running / training, we forget how to exercise and shape our mind and thoughts.
Do you have anything to keep your mentality in check?
How do you think others perceive you?